Parenting And Education Stories

I have these day dreams where I torture people or I have to sacrifice myself to save everyone else and some days I'm happy but other days I feel like the life force I was born with is fading away into nothing.

I need help easing this anxiety real quick; im 17. I lost my virginity recently, we used protection and the guy didn’t eject. A condom or two broke, but we immediately put a new one on. However; my period is delayed two weeks. I’ve had a regular cycle for years. I can’t talk to my parents about this, especially my mom. They’re extremely strict with dating. I can’t tell my boyfriend about this, because im unsure.

There’s not a chance, right? 😭

I’ve been stressed for a long time now, so I know that can affect that, but it hasn’t before.

so my mom just got my report card and shes grounded me (I'm writing this on my school computer) wanna know why she grounded me? because I have 3 C's. shes being so irrational and stupid about it, it makes me want to bash her head into a wall and hope that it changes her stupid ways of thinking. She hit me so bad I cant feel my face or my finger tips. I also cant feel half of my head because she pulled my hair too hard and i feel like my skull is throbbing. she wont even let me go to the bathroom because shes forcing me to work my ass off on those assignments I have low grades on. I want this to end. I want her to end. I want her to stop thinking the way she does. I just want my phone back. I want a break. She acts like if I have low grades in ONE class the world is ending. She acts if there's a fucking atomic bomb dropping right on our doorstep because the FBI found out I had 3 still PASSING grades in my classes. The universe is HUGE and my grades are either just pixelated letters on a screen or a few strokes of ink on a piece of paper. This is also my teachher's faults. I submitted an assignment a few minutes late and she decides to give it a zero, despite the work being correct. That specific teacher's zeros are worth SOOOO much and they can so easily bring my grade down from an A to a D. Im afraid shes gonna go through my phone and find my private stuff. My conversations with my friends, my photos, and anything else. Those are relatively fine but I have an ai app on my phone and THAT is what I'm most scared of her finding. I know my limbs would be severed off one by one if she finds it. I just want this to end. I wish teachers weren't so strict with their grading and that they give you second chances.

Eversince i started middle school my mom has been so harsh on me. i mean I get it, its to get ready for the future, but that doesn't mean calling me a biatch, saying to go fock yourself, I wish you were never born, I wish you weren't a burden, I wish you knew how to say sorry, I wish I knew, I wish I could actually, I wish to die. I just WISH I can actually learn to love, to accept, to learn to say sorry, to just restart. Im sorry mom, I wish I listened to you earlier, I don't want our relationship like this, I don't want my mom to not care for me anymore, I want to have the relationship were mom and daughter are bestfriends, I'm sorry for this, I wish... I just wish, i wish i was never born so i wouldn't be a burden, i just wish wish wish, I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense

I've been struggled with depression since I was in grade 3 or 4. I didn't know what "depression" is until I grew up. And now, I'm still dealing with it every single days.

So i'm currently in my final year in university, i have a lot of things to worry about included my family, my future jobs, my future life,... so i sometimes feel overwhelm. In the final year, you're usually go to a company or an office to start your internship, right? Me too, but things didn't work out like I planned. My step-dad said that he can handle this because of his "wide networks" so he can find me a good place for my internship. It was the government's office, i didn't like it at first but still accept it because it related to my major. But people at the office didn't welcome me because they saw me entering the office as a "nuisance" or "this girl is good for nothing, only rely on her dad relationship". Then they made things hard for me to get my CV accepted. So right now, I still didn't get my internship, meanwhile, all the students in my uni are starting their owns. My friends too, they talked about how cool and lively their work environment are. It made me feel embarrased and bored. Not to mention, if I don't get my internship, I'll have to re-do my class ONE MORE YEAR. And I can't graduate on time.

Also, I'm kinda lost these days. I missed all the plan I've made and rot in bed days after days. Even tho in my head, I know I should get rid of those bad hanits of mine but I just can't find the motivation for it. And my mother tended to force me on doing houseworks instead of letting me go out for fresh air. She said i have to take care of my younger brothers and the house. And whenever i do something that trigger her, she'll beat me and scream at me with harsh words. I've been like this since I was in Kintergarden🫠 well she even said "i wish you were never born to me" so yea, i'm used to it. You may think I'm weak or helpless but that's just how I deal with my life. I still live til this day, but I'm not sure I can keep up with living like this anymore.

My husband has always had custody of his son. I came in the picture when he was 1 years old. Bio mom shows her face a few times a year. Normally on holidays when she likes to throw a fuss that she IS the mother and deserves to see/have him for holidays but otherwise doesn't bother with him any other time. Just for back story she has never worked, never provided for the child in any way, has never bought clothing or furniture or anything of the sort for my son. She also has another kid about 9 months younger than my son. And amongst a plethora of other issues, she will occasionally DEMAND hand-me-downs from my son because her other child "deserves them"/"deserves to feel close to his brother." To the point of questioning me when i list up things on Facebook market place as to why I am doing that and not just giving her the things. Or when I list them on freecycle again throwing a tantrum that they were not offered to her first . When he does outgrow toys that were given to him by her (which doesn't happen often because they are usually cheap and break before that can happen) they are offered back to her. But seeing as how my husband, his family, my family or myself solely support my son's every want and need i feel it is within my right to do whatever I want with what is ours and think it is ridiculous she thinks she has a right to them in any way.

When I come to the U.S., I was only 8 years old. My mom and dad bring me and my little sister from Mexico, saying we gonna have better life, better future. I believe them, I really do. But now, I am 26, and sometimes, I still don’t feel like I belong here. I do everything like American people—I go school here, I work here, I even speak English good (okay, not perfect, but good enough, I think). But still, when people look at me, I know they see different. They ask me, "Where you from?" and when I say, "Oh, I grew up here," they just look at me like they don’t believe me. Like I have to explain more. Sometimes I say, "I’m from Mexico," just to make it easy, but then they ask, "Oh, so you not American?" And I don’t know what to say. What I am? I am both. But also, maybe neither.

Life as first generation immigrant is... weird. I grow up in house where everything is Mexican—food, music, telenovelas, my parents speaking Spanish all the time. But outside, everything is American. I go to school, and kids make fun of my lunch because it smell “weird.” Teachers say my name wrong, so I stop correcting them. I try so hard to fit in, but at home, my mom tell me, "No te olvides de dónde vienes." Don’t forget where you come from. And I try, but sometimes I feel like I am too Mexican for Americans, but too American for Mexicans. I go back to visit family in Mexico, and my cousins laugh at my Spanish. "Hablas como gringo," they say. They right, I guess. But then here, people tell me, "Wow, your English is so good!" like they surprise. So, what am I? Where do I belong? I don’t know. And maybe, I never will.

So.

I’ve been struggling with different things for the past three years or even four, it’s been a while and I cannot remember exactly when this did start but I’ve tried everything to fit into what people want me to fit but at the same time I don’t care and at the same time o don’t wanna be a part of them, even if I try to be different I feel like if I’m just calling the attention or something like that and I’m afraid, afraid of myself and disgusted and…I don’t know what more, my mother did find out and tried to force me to get better by trying to make me fit in what she wants that just kept me pulling down

It’s been years now, but today still hurts like hell. Happy birthday, mom. I wish I could say that to you in person, hear your laugh, see that little smile you always did when you thought I was being too sentimental. But all I have now are memories and an empty space that never really goes away. People say time heals, but honestly? Some days it feels like time just makes me realize more and more how much I miss you.

I try to go on like it’s just another day, but it’s not. I see your favorite flowers at the store, hear a song on the radio that reminds me of you, and suddenly I’m right back to that ache I thought I’d learned to live with. I hope wherever you are, you know I’m thinking of you. I hope you know I’d give anything just to hug you one more time. Happy birthday, mom. I love you, always.

2/2/25 3:19am

I have so much to say although no understanding of where to start.

Recently I've become overwhelmed with a sense of boredom, somber, longing, pain, etc.

I've been thinking about my father, what would it be like to have a relationship with him

to have cherish-able memories of him, instead I'm left with nothing maybe a few pictures

even with 2yr old me in his arms. You know i didn't realize how much having a dead father

would affect me or if it had a take on me at all, it does. Every moment of everyday I'm left with

thoughts such as "if he was here what would be different?" "though he's dead is he proud of me?" "do you love me still? after all of my mistakes, wrong doings, lessons?"

I feel sick each time i talk to her about it, my mother... I remember one time i had brought him up

i had said i missed him but you know, she misses him more because that was her first love her soulmate, i was just a baby i didn't have anything, not a clue.

I lost my dad but she lost her soulmate, i refuse to argue or to even bring it up i don't even bring up his name anymore, what's the point? nothing is going to change and I'll never get what i need...what i need.

I feel guilty, sick, torn. I have Tim, Tim is like my father...the one i never had right....

he's been around since i was a baby took the parental role when my dad died.

I feel sick yearning for my dad when i have him, Tim.

I feel disgusted with myself entirely, i have an increasingly difficult time reaching out to anyone

family, friends. Papa, Tim he lives by himself my mom and brothers were with him at some point but he's alone now

he does so much for everyone and i wish i could be there with him so he'd never discover what loneliness is.

My mom and papas relationship is complex, honestly not my business and i don't wanna go on a full lore drop about our timeline, maybe another night.

It had seemed the day papa came home years ago, found my mom with an other man he left and nothing has been the same. For a long time things seemed to go down hill, maybe because i haven't taken my meds in two months that i feel like this. I dislike that i still get emotional over things i thought i healed from, but why am i lying? i know i haven't healed matter of fact i don't know how or where to start or if it's even possible, will i feel like this, think like this forever?

will i always struggle so hard? will i always need artificial happiness?

Some thing's I've realized over these few years is that I'm not tims daughter, i never will be, he accepts me cause I'm not the "ghetto hood rat" black girl I'm "whitewashed" apparently. they've worked to destroy and invalidate my skin color and culture, I've learned I'll never have a true significant meaning to any of my family because of different in every aspect, I'm the black sheep in a field of grey and i have to learn to be okay with that.

I know this is a drastic topic change but universe please give me a knowing sign, i need something I'm hurting so bad and i don't understand. I don't wanna be mean and quick to anger anymore...i don't wanna hurt anyone anymore. I'm so sorry.

I need help so bad.

I feel like vomiting i haven't been eating much recently, pushing back tears, i feel so pathetic i can't show my feelings to anyone without feeling sick and it seems that nobody likes me, what's wrong with me? am i annoying maybe to much or even not enough? why? why does nobody like me? am i not interesting or worth anyone's time? am i not deserving?

I wanna hurt myself it feels so good, so familiar its been a habit since i was 10 and i don't know if i can stay clean much longer.

Although I'm hurting and shit i can acknowledge my growth through this journey, though in some aspects I've also gotten worse or even fallen back.

I don't wanna die but fuck, it's like every time I'm suicidal it hurts so good and when I'm content and stable I'm on edge, waiting for something to happen mourning the temporary "loss" of my usual somber mindset and body language.

Its a cycle I'm slowing learning to break but sometimes i don't want to break it, i want to live in it bathe in it.

I want to tell my mom and crawl into her lap and sob till my hearts content, but no amount of crying can ease my pain, no amount of comfort, and I've learned that my problems will never sum up to anything because nothing I've been through is severe enough it'll all never be valid.

I think I'll always be this way, though i have much fortune that I'll never overlook I'll still always be this difficult, angry, and sad person who can't grasp anything, I'll always be the being who can't react without emotion and hurt.

I miss you dad

Hi, it's me again, X, here with another vent.

I've been boggled by the news lately about this universal Comprehensive Sexuality Education (CSE) that's becoming a worldwide standard. In the Philippines, the Senate is now discussing the Anti-Teenage Pregnancy Bill, which suggests that CSE would be taught to students. What's more concerning is the claim that they're considering teaching masturbation to children as young as 0-4 years old.

I mean, maybe it's just me, but I grew up preserving traditions and religion, and for me, isn't this just so wrong to do? I understand the importance of educating the youth, but introducing such topics at such a tender age feels inappropriate.

Moreover, I believe that to prevent children from engaging in sexual activities at a very young age, we should limit their exposure to such topics in the first place. Teaching them about masturbation and the pleasures of sex seems counterproductive. Instead of reducing teenage pregnancies, this might encourage them to experiment more.

Why not implement laws that hold parents accountable for their children's actions? Providing explicit knowledge and exposure to children seems like we're tolerating, if not encouraging, them to engage in such activities. If they were more aware of the consequences, perhaps they would think twice before acting.

Again, this is just me. I'm not into politics; I'm just thinking of humane ways to deal with these kinds of topics.

I fight with my mom and when she wanna makes up i just freeze and cant talk. I give the toxic silent treatment

My child has being struggling with mental issues for a while now: first it was eating disorders, following depression, anxiety and now also OCD with Germ phobia. With the right help we were able to cope with anorexia and anxiety but no matter how many times they changed her medications (kind or dosage) nothing is helping her with depression and her OCD got so bad that she barely lives a normal life (but fortunately she was able to get to the last year of college this year). When she is with others she puts on an act, you can tell something is off but not as bad as when she is home. Sometime it is so frustrating that I would like to cry, or scream or just get the door and escape. Believe me, I know it is harder for her but seeing your child living like that makes a parent heart ache. I am continuously worried about her future and it breaks my heart seeing that she is not able to live her life at her fullest when other people that would don't have the luck to do it. At times I feel so guilty of not being able to help her and mad at all the specialists she got to see during these years that didn't make her improve at all, actually I see she is getting worse. But than I realize I can't blame them totally because since she has been an adult I am not involved in her session at all and she lies a lot on what the reality is and being everything on video calls now, I think they can't really realize how bad the situation is.

I am tired, overwhelmed, disappointed, upset, sad...but I don't know what to do anymore to save my little Princess from herself.

its been a long time since i've realizd but i think i am fully admitting to my myself this just now that i've certainly become a failure. last time i was preparing for my exams with full enthusiasm and now that i am a 11th grader my whole life is fucking turned upside down. i ha dstarted on this ourney of preparing for an entrance exam for engineeering colleges but took the option of staying at my school which usualy doing the same thing as me (preparing for the same exam) dont do. i was confident in proving the people who toold me that staying in school won't get you your college. i was confident. because i had no one to tell me the right thing. no one to explain to me what i was setting myself up for. i was just a person with dreams who'd not thoroughly thought of the path that they'd be taking neither had they researched about this. they just took this path because it seemed cool and many people were doing it and also heard that there father's dream was to get the top college that you could get through this exam. i didnt know anything about it and just followed whatever others around me were doing. i didnt realize the seriousness of this thing. and dint give me best which i am still far from giving. i scores very well in ast year's exam that i told you about however i could do more on that too if i were just a little more serious. os now i have wasted my 2024 not studying in my school. when i look at the more serious kids around me theyre so fucking ahead of me i cant even imagine that id ever be at their level i just think i am done for and now i dont have the fucking motivation to do anything. i cant study. i just cant bring myself to do it i dont know why i just have gotten so good at procastinating and so good at just regretting things after i did the wronng stuff that i seem to not even care right now. i dont fucking know what to do and i just wanna die right now. also i couldnt bring myself to tell this to anyone despite having so many friends and pretty undertsanding parents but i just cant. and i dont know how this websiete works. i just wanna

My mother and I we don't have the easiest relationship. I mean the things are great until they are great. We can't seem to agree on anything. Plus she thinks I am naive and will get mistreated everywhere. I think she thinks I am stupid. She judges me for almost anything and everything, like how I talk, who I talk to, what I talk about. She judges the way I conduct myself, why I speak so much when I literally met my friend after 2 years. I don't know how to deal with this. I think I also I have severe mommy issues. I have a voice inside my head, mostly her voice that tells me that I am wrong, that i every step I take is wrong. So yeah that's my story. I want to change this narrative and I want to become a person of my own free of from all prejudices that my mother has set for me. I want to be free. What would you guys do if you would in a situation like this?