Parenting And Education Stories

so, the other day, my kids hit me with that classic line again: “dad, you’re overreacting!” honestly, it feels like a universal law in our household now. a simple mishap, like forgetting to take out the trash? suddenly, it's World War III in my living room. I swear, it’s like my reaction is some overblown sitcom scene, where I’m dramatic for no reason. I try to be chill, but something in me just snaps when I see their mess and the trash piling up. I mean, who wants to live in a pigsty, right?

last week, for example, I caught my youngest trying to microwave a sandwich. I’ll be straight-up with you, the thought of him making that decision just got my dad senses tingling. like, isn’t that a recipe for disaster? those moments when I see their creativity with food just make my heart race. I yelled out, “are you trying to give yourself food poisoning?” I heard the groans as soon as I caught that sparkle of enthusiasm in his eyes—"dad, calm down, it’s just a sandwich!" but seriously, what if it gets burnt? or worse, they try to cook one of those fancy burnt cheese things; it’s like playing with fire! I need them to understand that safety first; it’s about survival too.

then there’s the time they thought it was a good idea to ride their bikes down that steep hill at the park. I mean, come on! the thought of them flying into traffic gave me heart palpitations. I yelled something like, “you’ll break a bone or worse!” and they rolled their eyes at me like I’m living in a different era. it’s almost like they think their dad is just an overly cautious, ridiculous figure to bicker with. I just want to protect them, I swear it’s not just me being dramatic. there’s a fine line between adventure and stupidity, right? how does anyone know where that line is when you have kids who think they're invincible?

one evening, we were watching a movie, and there was a jump scare that made me spill my popcorn everywhere. I went off on a mini-rant, like, “why do filmmakers feel the need to jolt us like that?” my kids laughed, of course. “dad, chill out! it’s just a movie!” it’s like I became the punchline in their comedy show. I’ll admit, I can tend to get a little carried away. yet, how can I not when it feels like everyone around me is playing games with my heart rate? still, I sometimes wonder if I really am overreacting; maybe I should loosen up a bit.

truthfully, I think there’s a straight-up imbalance between their carefree nature and my protective instincts. I want them to explore and be free, but man, do I sometimes feel like a sitcom dad on the verge of a nervous breakdown. am I really overreacting, or do I just have an overabundance of caution that keeps shocking them? I thought being a parent would come with a manual or something. every day is this unique challenge, and I really gotta ask myself—what's wrong with them acting like my reactions are just part of their teenage amusement? it’s a real conundrum; should I embrace the chaos or keep pushing back, expecting them to listen?

Myself 35F and my husband 36M have been wanting to start a family for a while now. A things initially put us off such as space and family drama. As well as some conditions 35F has.

We decided this was something we have to try been referred to - specialist for these going through tests and realise that we are told we only have months try before going to possibly do IVF.

We are keeping this private. But some of the family isn’t supportive they have to try or won’t know.

A family member has a big birthday coming up and they want to book something but we have told them that we can’t commit as we also have another big family birthday that weekend and that their night be more people to consider it a little one if possible. Am I over reacting given that the birthday is 10 months away and we have been given less than thst to start a family? What do people always have to book so far in advance and we keep getting pushed for an answer. I really want a baby and to be pregnant but I am wondering if k am putting too much pressure on it and myself. Especially if we do have a baby it will be hard to travel.

Not sure they underpants that or willing to give us space. I feel very on edge about it all. As I want it so much. Thoughts?

I’m 14 and I didn’t really have a good past because of my mother, and the past couple months now I have noticed a lot of changes about myself mentally. If I’m out of the house for too long like at stores or restaurants, I’ll just panic and I don’t understand why, It becomes hard to talk and usually I’ll just say “home”. Last year me and my family went to a huge festival, I panicked and we had to sit down for a while, I would stop panicking but it would start up again randomly and I just couldn’t control it. My grandma and grandpa took me to the car and I calmed down while my dad and my sister were still out for about 15 minutes before we left. They kept bringing it up and said it was an “inconvenience”. Often times if I feel a texture I don’t like, it feels weird like I have to shake it off my hands or I just sit there with my hands out and go like “ah” or “eugh”, my grandma as recognized it and will give me a napkin for my hands or just move us away from where the material was. Sometimes I get in this headspace where I feel like mentally around the ages of 6-10. I never really got to have a childhood, my dad said it was good before him and my mom got divorced but I don’t remember it and I only remember the bad stuff. I want to know what’s wrong with me but when I asked my therapist she said it was just a phase but I cried to her about it months ago (she is no longer my therapist for other reasons). I feel like I’m this way because I was forced to grow up too fast, I mean I was taking care of a baby (my little sister) when I was 5. My mom was selling my toys and Christmas presents for drugs.

When I get really interested in something like a video game, I talk very passionately about it and sometimes I get a little loud when I talk but I don’t notice it. My dad always gets mad at me and I try to stay quieter. I almost always tell my grandma about all my interests and crafts because she is the only one who actually listens. Today I went to talk to her about the craft I wanted to do for my Halloween costume this year. I was in debate between doing a barn owl or a deer kinda cosplay. I was in the middle of saying how I thought the deer one would be harder and how I really wanted to do the owl, but she didn’t let me talk and just kept saying “the owl sounds too hard, you should do the deer”. I kept asking her to let me explain and she was like “well the owl just seems too hard for you”. At that point I just went back upstairs to my room and cried. My dad doesn’t let me tell him about my interests because I talk too much and he wants the short story,now he doesn’t want to hear it at all. My little sister is spoiled rotten by my dad and just doesn’t let me talk, then she gets mad at me when I get mad at her because she keeps interrupting me.

I just want to know what’s wrong with me

I messed up my exams and I don’t wanna study anymore. I’m really scared about my parents. I feel like they are gonna hate me…

I'm questioning my worthiness for this position. The thought keeps surfacing that my appointment might have been due to a lack of preferred internal connections for others. What am I supposed to make of these feelings?"

I never imagined I’d find myself even thinking this, let alone writing it down—but lately, I’ve been wondering if my son truly loves me anymore. We used to be so close when he was younger. He’d run to me after school, tell me about his day, ask me for advice. Now, at 26, he barely picks up the phone. Messages go unread for days. If we do talk, it’s short, clipped, and he sounds like he’d rather be anywhere else. I know children grow up, I know they build their own lives—but this feels different. It doesn’t feel like distance, it feels like rejection. Like he resents me, or worse, doesn't care at all.

It’s in the little things that the pain creeps in. Holidays, for example—he’ll visit, but only because I ask, and he never stays long. He doesn’t initiate hugs anymore. There’s no warmth in his voice. Last Christmas, he showed up late, didn’t bring a gift or even a card, and spent most of the evening on his phone. When I tried to talk to him about his job, he just mumbled one-word answers. I used to know everything going on in his life. Now I learn about major updates from social media—after he’s told everyone else. When I mention feeling left out, he tells me I’m being too emotional or dramatic. That word—dramatic—burns every time.

I’ve tried to reflect on where I might have gone wrong. I wasn’t perfect. I yelled sometimes. I had rules, like any parent. I worked long hours when he was young, trying to provide. But I loved him with everything I had. I sat at his bedside when he was sick. I helped him with homework late into the night. I gave up so much so he could have opportunities I never had. So when he acts like I’m just some obligation now, it breaks something in me. I don’t need constant praise or attention—but I do need to feel like I matter in his life, like I’m still his mom and not some figure he’s trying to avoid.

The hardest part is that I can’t talk to anyone about it without sounding bitter. Friends will say, “He’s just busy,” or “It’s a phase.” But when that “phase” stretches into years, you start to ask yourself deeper questions. Like, what if he really doesn’t love me anymore? What if all the love I poured into raising him just... faded on his end? There are signs I can’t ignore anymore. No “I love you” at the end of calls. No interest in my life—he never asks how I’m doing. Birthdays are forgotten. He cancels plans without apology. It’s not just neglect; it’s indifference. And indifference hurts more than anger, because at least anger means they feel something.

What makes this worse is watching him with other people. I’ve seen him be so kind to his girlfriend’s family—bringing flowers, planning trips, sending thoughtful texts. I’m happy he’s found love, but it stings to know I don’t get that version of him anymore. Maybe he’s giving his best to others now, and there’s nothing left for me. I wonder if he sees me as just a reminder of his childhood or a source of guilt. I don’t want his pity, I just want a little of that love back. A phone call where he’s not distracted. A visit he actually wants to make. A moment where he looks at me like I still mean something.

I know I can’t force love. I know that adult children don’t owe their parents constant attention. But love shows up in effort, in presence, in the small gestures that say “you still matter.” And right now, all the signs point to something I never thought I’d face—a son who’s moved on from loving his mother. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m just feeling lonley, reading too much into things. But if you’ve ever felt this ache too, then you know it’s not easy to ignore. I just hope one day he remembers the woman who raised him, who loved him even when he pulled away, and decides to come back—not out of guilt, but because he wants to. Until then, I wait, and wonder if the silence is my answer.

I have an abusive mom(both emotionally and physically) And whenever I vent about it, everyone gives her a free pass just because she gave birth to me.

I'll use a conversation I had with my friend a bit ago as an example.

So I was venting to my friend a few weeks ago about my mom, and it was going fine. They were trying to be comforting, and reassuring, ect. But then at the end of it they started talking to me about how I should never cut her off. They said in these exact words: "I know she's not the best mother ever, but she gave you life. Every day she makes sure you have food and water, and a roof over your head. So when you get older, you should still take care of her and keep her in your life" And I guess I just got really angry at this.

Yeah she makes sure I have food and water, but isn't that the bare minimum? She is never there for me emotionally, has never said "I'm proud of you", calls me a useless piece of shit, manipulates, hits me for random reasons, and ect. And I don't think that I should completely ignore all of it just because she's my mom. And why should I take care of her when she's older when she never takes care of me now? I know I should probably be grateful that I'm alive because of her, but I really don't feel like I owe her anything. It's not like I wanted to be born or something.

When I get older I really just want to cut her out of my life and not see her again. I'm sorry if that's selfish, but I don't think I can be happy otherwise.

I (14F) didn’t really get to have a childhood, I was forced to grow up fast. Apparently my life was good until I was 5, but I don’t remember that. When I turned 5, my mom had my baby sister but her and my dad got a divorce. I had to stay with my mom,but she wasn’t good at parenting whatsoever.My mom was doing several drugs and would sell our toys for drug money.I always had to take care of my baby sister while taking care of myself and school. So much had happened during that time that changed my life forever. Now I live with my dad since he got custody of me and my sister, but it hasn’t been easy with him either. I’m going to be turning 15 later this year,but mentally I feel like I’m between the ages of 6-10. Im not able to control it, since I started accepting the more childlike part of me that I didn’t get to feel when I was younger I’ve noticed some mental changes. Im not as smart as I used to be and at times I physically feel younger like the ages I said before. I have a hard time taking care of myself like eating right, sleeping right, taking my medication,ect. Im scared of the future because I know I’ll have to get a job and drive soon. I have terrible anxiety and crazy painful panic attacks,and I don’t know how I would get a job without any social abilities. Im terrified of driving because I have been in several car accidents, plus I can barely walk across the busy street on my own without being scared as hell.

Me,My dad, and my sister live with my grandma and grandpa in their house. I don’t have my own room because our rooms are in the areas upstairs.me and my sisters area is just an open room by the staircase with a divider between our beds and my dads room in infront of ours but he has a door. I’ve never had my own room but now that I’m getting older I kinda want my own room but I can’t. My dad knows about my mental issues and has taken me out of school because of my anxiety (and issues with the school), but I won’t finish Highschool so it will just be harder to get a job. Im scared to move out but I want to because I just want my own space. My dad said he would take care of me forever because it’s hard for me to just function normally through a day, but I know he won’t be around long enough to do that because he is already 46 and I don’t want to put him through that. I don’t know what’s wrong with me or why I’m like this, nobody can tell me what’s wrong

So... I can no longer cry.

I used to cry as much as a normal kid, but my parents (my mum specifically) started yelling at me for crying. When my brother and I would argue, she always took his side even if he was arguing that 2+2=8 then yell at me. When i started crying after ~15-30 mins of her straight screaming at me, she would tell me that "crying is going to get you nowhere so be quiet" and that "there is no reason for you to be crying because you're in the wrong. you are going to get in more trouble after this if you keep this up". and so on. those were some of the lighter ones but you get the picture. she would tell me that crying was useless and weak and that it would get me nowhere. i started coming up with little ways to slow it down like holding my breath and blurring my eyes without letting the tears fall, or even running to the bathroom, wiping my eyes and coming back out. BTW, i was 5. then by the time i had learned to control my tears completely (at around 8) i started getting angrier easily as a way of coping. ofc my parents got mad for that even more than crying so now i'm almost emotionless. when my mum yells at me she now gets upset because i don't react. i will remain completely calm as if i dont gaf, then my mum will give up and my dad will get mad at me for not reacting.

this all seems good except for the fact that now when i am deppressed, i can't let it out at all. it is worse than you'd expect. basically, i feel everything worse but don't show it. it just goes into an invisible jar with everything else i've stored over the years. i'm 12 now and i sriously don't know what to do right now. on top of a whole lot of other things i hae going on rn, this is getting too much, even for me. and i don't crack.

is this normal or what bcz all my friends can cry. does anyone have any solution or any ideas? im trying here.

luv you guys and thanks for reading this ik its alot.

[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

I feel like I had a good day today. I felt clearheaded as I reflected on the nature of my relationship with my father, which until recently had been extremely tangled—and therefore problematic.

My father lives with his partner and her daughter, and I live separately. There’s a sister I know nothing about, and my mother is a shared figure between us whom we both have essentially discarded due to her abusive behavior and controlling tendencies. My father still interacts with that whole group—except with me. Our interaction is practically nonexistent.

He lives with that pair, has to work with my mother, and I have no idea what kind of relationship he has with my sister. Essentially, my father carries a heavier family load than I do, on top of working and studying. As for me, I don’t have much of a family context. I work and explore creative outlets. In that sense, I assume I have more flexibility, though I don’t waste time either—unlike him. Our reflections come from different modes: his from contrast with a loaded family routine, and mine from being detached from such a routine. In the end, it leads us to the same thing.

My father provides financially—he pays for my housing and gives me money for small luxuries. I, on the other hand, cover my own breakfast, lunch, and dinner, house cleaning costs, snacks, and personal entertainment. In that way, we’re even.

We both stay in our own spaces—he in his academic bubble, and I in my freedom. I’ve left behind the academic setting as a symbol of discarding the past, while he reclaims it by investing in expanding his knowledge. Both of us, in our own ways, have tried to break away from the events of the past. However, things resurfaced after a long period of imposed silence.

That silence stemmed from problems with my stepmother. Contact resumed when I began expressing things I hadn’t voiced during that time. After that, my father started controlling me through opaque conditions, designed to avoid disapproval on either side and to prevent conflict. Eventually, I stopped playing by those rules, to the point of disrupting the family structure—just as he had once disrupted my principles of freedom and personal growth. That led to a kind of balance: he and I have both suffered the same, so now we can approach each other with both caution and independence. From this, I conclude that I’m safe and sound in regard to this relationship.

Being able to visualize this long-evolving dynamic in an organized way gives me the clarity to approach other relationships that I now need to study more closely.

Now, I’m approaching a young woman. She’s in a misogynistic relationship—against her will—trapped in a group dynamic that pushes her to stay, even though it benefits only her partner. He retains dominance because he hasn’t been subjected to guilt or rejection like she has. She’s had to face rejection from both families involved in the relationship, while he remained accepted by both. She reached out to me over a year ago, seeking a transition—a way out of that group and into something with me. And I believe we’re making progress. Based on my observations, that relationship is doomed to end over time. I feel hopeful, knowing she’ll be safe and free to grow. And I’ll have the honor of witnessing the evolution of a masterpiece—human freedom and diversification.

I used to think her relationship mirrored the one I had with my father. But it turns out to be the opposite. In her case, she fought hard to maintain the relationship and ended up rejected by both families. In my situation, I fought for justice against the abuse from both my mother and stepmother. I didn’t necessarily depend on my father’s support, though at times he offered some. In the first case, neither of us were accepted. In the second, I wasn’t. That part mirrors her story. But I wasn’t fighting to keep the relationship with my father—I felt that relationship was already safe. If I go deeper, in the first case I was defending my father from my mother’s abuse, which even he couldn’t justify. In the second, with my stepmother, the conflict began because I wanted to prevent her from interfering in our relationship. In that sense, the girl and I are similar.

When I reconnected with her, after her ordeal with the two families, she was conditioned into blind obedience to her partner—much like I was with my father. She expressed this openly, and like me, she got involved in activities that exercised the mind and helped her move forward. That happened with my support. With those experiences, I began to take back ground that had been dominated by her partner—just as I had done with my father. And so, she ended up under my influence, although I never ruled out the possibility of her reconnecting with her partner. So maybe it doesn’t make sense to say I helped her leave that relationship—she had already left, even if I was physically beside her.

Then, once I regained those points of influence, the only thing left for her was to stop letting her partner control those same points. But that doesn’t happen just by distancing—it takes initiative to reclaim them. That’s how autonomy is achieved. With my father, I reclaimed those points and then learned how to hold influence without using it—creating balance and empathy. With her, the goal would be for her to reclaim influence and apply it to her partner, to reach a similar empathetic point. That would create enough separation to finally end that relationship. This reclaiming process could be seen as her learning from my way of doing things.

So now the question is: When will she decide to take that step? Should I wait for her? What do I do in the meantime? Based on this reasoning, she needs to take the initiative. That’s why the question arises—and that’s why I must wait. But since I have no idea what her current situation is, I also need to assume she’s not present. So I must continue with my life as if she’s not there, because I lack the context. I don’t know when she’ll reclaim those points, or under what conditions.

At this stage in my life, I can’t factor her into the equation. I have to assume she’s no longer part of it. There’s no continuation—nothing more to do for now. Any thoughts I have about her current life would only be speculation, born from assumptions that don’t belong to me. And it’s precisely from that place that she must begin again, if she chooses to.

I had only heard of the “Mommy Wars” but never saw anything nearby. Figured it was dying down. Nope. They are still a thing and always will be despite the whole “women need to support other women” war cry. Be gracious to ALL moms! Working/SAHM, young/older, homeschool/traditional, homestead organic/fast food…Every single one is just trying to survive.

I've been homeschooled my whole life. I've always hated it and left me to feel bitter. I saw my friends who went to public or private schools, they told me I was lucky, yet they were the ones who had friends, relationships, even the resources at school that helped them with their education. I had none of those. For me, I would wake up, go on my computer, finish my school, and stay home. I begged my mother to put me into public school when I reached 9th grade, didn't happen. Best she could do was enroll me into a virtual school, not any better since it was the exact same lifestyle. The only way my mother would comfort me was tell me about College, how when I got to college I'll meet so many people and start my life. Everyone told me that. That was what I held onto during my years, it was the only thing that kept me going. I worked hard, had a great GPA, did a lot of strong extracurriculars, take strong classes. Long story short, college admissions season has ended, and I basically got into none of the schools in my state that I wanted to go to. Every out of state school that I applied to and wanted to go so badly accepted me, all with scholarships. But it's too expensive, I have no financial aid since my family makes too much, but they said they won't help cover costs if I go out of state. The only in state school that accepted that is decent quality is 20 minutes away from my house, I'll get a car at least. To make it even better, it's known as a commuter school, social life is dry from what I've heard. All of my friends got into their dream schools, schools that they should be proud of, meanwhile Im ashamed. I thought it would finally be my time, something would finally happen. But nope. I'll be at my home, doing the same routine I have done my whole life. Nothing will change. I'll never go to a football game with friends, I'll never live in a dorm, I'll never know the thrill of being on my own. I wanted so badly to have that. So badly to live. Know I just feel empty and bitter and I keep thinking about all the "what ifs". I've never had the average teenage experience, hell, I haven't even had my first kiss. Now I will never have what I have only been dreaming of my whole life. I can't even begin to explain the absolute despair I am feeling. I thought things would be different, I thought I would be celebrating, not mourning the life I will never have. What stories will I tell to my children? I don't have any.

Hubby and I have five kiddos, one a newborn and others under 9. We met up with family for school holidays. Idk if it’s the change of scenery, the hype of seeing family since before Christmas, or the change of routine but the four kids are just hyper and a bit more disobedient. We have a good handle on them but it’s taking a few extra tries to get them in line. Anyways, after a few days of this and the activities with family, I’m getting embarrassed by the kids’ behaviour and I’m just physically wiped. I’m gonna need a vacation from this vacation. I feel like the family is getting a bit annoyed too and idk what else to do or say aside from “sorry about that”. They are obviously forgiving but there is no further encouragement from them. I’m not expecting a whole support group. I’m simply venting here. I hate that my kids are acting up and I hate that I’m embarrassed by their behaviour instead of just loving them and continue loving and disciplining them and staying consistent. I hate that I’m not gracious or graceful. I cried yesterday out of frustration. I just want them to be easy going and respectful so a cousin or aunt can take them for a bit and hubby and I can actually enjoy a sliver of this vacation too (or at least nap!!!). We are literally just parenting in another city and the kids are harder than usual. I’m just so upset and venting. I know things will get better. Just had to get it out! Thanks.

I can't self diagnose or anything but I'm 98% sure I'm autistic, the stories my family tells me about when I was younger add up to the autism symptoms I feel now. I've taken the Raads-R test or whatever it's called, I've actually take a bunch, all which lead to the general consensus that I do in fact most definitely have autism. I don't know how to tell my parents. they're asian and they told me a couple years ago that autistic people are weird and not normal or whatever and they probably dont believe anything i try to tell them. they dont believe im aromantic and that me being a tomboy is just a phase. life is becominig harder and harder and i dont know. i just cant do naything. the amount of stress increases every day and whenever i cry or say something about it theyre like oh its cause of that phone your addicted to. I barely have screentime because im so busy, i dance and im at school all day to the point where i only come home to sleep. they are. also pushing me to go to college, which I cant be bothered anymore. I dont. want to go to school anymore and I want to dance. I want to go to europe and dance or something like that. I don't know i dont thik my parents will support me. They'll probably be like u cant make a living, u have to go to college. you porblably got this idea from your phone didn't u. like idk anymore, what do i have to do to convince my parents

im 11, and its tiring. im chinese born in australia. sometimes i want to rip my hair out. Why? because the ASAT exists. The asat is the most competitive exam for year 6's. its in 29 days and im stressed. its like my life revolves around the asat. im tired. studying is hell. when i ACTUALLY study my parents get mad at for studying. like they keep saying that im not studying and basically unmotivate me. its like when u wanna put away the dishes without being told, but then ur parents tell u to. LIKE ITS SO FRICKEN ANNOYING. it keeps happening over and over. i jst waste more time crying and wondering what i did wrong to deserve this. its tiring honestly